Belle Burden's Memoir Is Making People Hate Their Husbands
Belle Burden's Memoir Is Making People Hate Their Husbands
Chloe JoeWed, May 6, 2026 at 5:53 PM UTC
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Strangers Is Making People Hate Their HusbandsHearst Owned
It took only 24 hours for Liz Thompson to finish the audiobook of Belle Burdenâs best-selling divorce memoir, Strangers. It took even less time for Strangers to make her paranoid about her marriage. Thompson was haunted by Burdenâs description of an idyllic lifeâa 19-year marriage, three well-adjusted kids, a tradition of storybook summers on Marthaâs Vineyardâsuddenly blown apart when Burdenâs ex walks out on her and the kids, with no explanation or warning. âIt made me think a lot deeper about âAm I missing red flags? Is there something out there that Iâm not paying attention to?â â she says. One night she was watching TV with her husband in the home they share in San Antonio, Texas, when she noticed him textingâand leaned over to peek at the conversation. He laughed a little at her nosiness and reminded her that she had the password for his phone; he wasnât hiding anything. She relented, but her mind continued to whir. Was the writing on the wall and she just couldnât see it?
After a couple of days, Thompson confessed what had been on her mind. Her husband was understanding. âIt sounds like [Burdenâs ex is] having a midlife crisis on steroids. The good thing is, Iâm kind of past that. You were my midlife crisis,â he joked. (When they married, he was in his mid-40s and she was in her mid-30s.)
Thompson is just one of many, many women whoâve come away from Strangers feeling a little shaken or a little angry. Or really angry, as was the case for Maegen*, 40. âIâve never hated another person more than I did when I was reading that book,â she says of Burdenâs husband. The memoir also made her revisit a strained time in her relationship with her own husband, when he was battling substance-use disorder. She chose not to bring the book up with him, though, as theyâre doing much better these days. âI try really hard to leave the past in the past. Now, donât get me wrong, give me some wine and I might [say], âHey, remember that time âŠâ â
Strangers debuted at number one on the New York Times Best Sellers list when it first hit bookstores in January; in the weeks since, itâs stayed near the top, as Burden has become something of a media darling, landing interviews with Oprah, Good Morning America, and Today. A Netflix adaptation is already in the works, with Gwyneth Paltrow set to star. The movie announcement spurred another round of discussion online, which has been particularly spirited on the Reddit thread r/nysocialites. (Though Burden chose not to engage with the socialite life, sheâs the granddaughter of Babe Paley, the onetime queen of the New York scene, among other old-money luminaries. Her wedding dress, she tells readers in a throwaway line, was custom Calvin Klein because her mother was friendly with the designer.) At this point, chatter about Burdenâs now-infamous turkey sandwich, which her ex had the gall to ask for after informing their children about the split, could sustain a subreddit of its own. (âI can see Gwyneth dramatically making the sandwich nowâ; âIâd make [the sandwich], then throw it at his head.â) But the most interesting discussions about the memoir are happening behind closed doors, sparked by Burdenâs gripping account of betrayal, sexism, and the perils of managing joint finances. In the book, Burden recounts how her husband convinced her to alter the prenup in his favor right before their wedding, among other transgressions.
TW*, a 28-year-old from Sydney, Australia, was in the thick of wedding planning when she saw her friend recommend Strangers on Instagram. She asked her, âShould I read this or not read this, given that Iâm getting married in a month? [My friend] said, absolutely do not read it. And I was like, Iâm gonna take that as a challenge.â TW read it in a day. What followed was â24 to 48 hours of sheer panic,â largely about the financial aspect of Burdenâs story. âI was like, âOh my gosh. Do I need a prenup?â Obviously, I am very in love and very happy and donât foresee a split from my partner at all. But in those moments, youâre like, âWell, neither did she.â â
TW reached out to a lawyer friend, who sent her a reassuring voice note during her lunch break. (âItâs great to have, because if I freak out again, I can just go and listen to it again.â) Prenups, the lawyer explained, donât exist in Australia; there are similar agreements, but they can be signed at any point, before or during the marriage. So that night, while TW and her fiancĂ© waited at a bar to begin their second wedding-dance lesson, she told him about Strangersâand about the financial agreement, which they could pursue in the future if they felt it was needed. âI did a terrible job of it. I feel like I just stressed him out, more than anything,â she says. Fortunately, although he was a little hurt that she felt splitting up was a possibility, he was understanding about her financial anxieties. Her desire to read Strangers, not as much. âHeâs like, âWhy did you stress yourself out like this?â Iâm like, âI canât help it. Itâs like picking a scab.â â
To some readers, the financial cruelties only compounded the main crime committed by Burdenâs ex: his refusal to provide any closure. From Burdenâs perspective, he flips from a caring, devoted husband and father to a, well, stranger overnightâand never once, during the split or in the years after, does he explain what changed. Itâs agonizing to sit with Burden as she wonders if she did something to push him away, if sheâd pulled wool over her own eyes, if heâd never really loved her at all.
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Sunny Elizabeth Deakle couldnât get over this aspect of Burdenâs story. The 46-year-old, who lives in New Orleans with a partner and their blended family, compiled an outline of the book for her husband to review, complete with plot points and key takeaways. Burdenâs story didnât shock herâin some ways, it reminded her of what happened to her parents; she vividly remembers picking up the landline when the husband of her fatherâs mistress called to inform her mother about the affairâbut it served nonetheless as a cautionary tale. Sheâs hoping her outline will help her husband understand why itâs important to discuss any issues honestly and openly, so sheâs never caught by surprise. She says, âI donât want to ever be at that point where youâre thinking nonstop, âWhat did I do? What could I have done?â â
At first blush, itâs surprising that a memoir by Burden, who hails from the most rarefied segment of American society, would connect with TW, an Australian woman who, by her own account, doesnât have âany significant assets.â But in part, thatâs what makes Burdenâs story so shocking and so interesting to women of all backgrounds. She had every advantage: two trust funds, a law degree, a mother who made her sign a contract promising sheâd get a prenup. And yet she almost lost half of her wealth while her husband walked away with a fortune.
âI'm flabbergasted. Youâre telling me that that type of woman could lose her fortune to a man?â says Dominique*, 31. âWhat does that say about all the rest of us? Like, Iâm a Black woman in an interracial marriage.â She and her husband made a pact before getting married, agreeing that if anything happened, theyâd split things evenly. When asked why she didnât feel the need to get that in writing, she laughs. âMy immediate response is I trust my husband. But thatâs exactly what this woman did, isnât it?â
Dominiqueâs husband knew she was reading Strangers because, one, she was listening to it on Audible (âOh, that lady again,â heâd say when Burdenâs voice came on), and, two, she was talking about it. A lot. Which he didnât mind. If anything, he was mildly amused. âHeâs like, âShe just keeps talking about that book,â â Dominique jokes. Thatâs partly because sheâs pregnant with her first child and newly experiencing societyâs divergent expectations for mothers and fathersâa major through line of Burdenâs memoir. Dominique is livid that the daycares follow up with her; thereâs a mommy group chat for their building but no daddy chat. âThereâs even been times where Iâm like, âI need your help.â And [my husband is] like, âWell, I donât know what it is that I have to do,â and Iâve had to try to find means and ways of delegating, honestly, managing him better, so that way he could be a better partner to me.â Happily, heâs eager to assist.
As women continue to press Strangers into one anotherâs hands, more and more couples may soon find themselves having important, if difficult, conversations. âIt feels like a thing that every woman is trying to spread the word about,â says Gabrielle*, a 31-year-old Brooklynite. Sheâs been talking about Strangers with everyone from ârandom women in the streetâ to her boss to her friends to her book club. At the latter, a cohost from The Prenup Podcast made an appearance, and hats with the word prenup emblazoned on them were on offer, prompting attendees to disclose their own financial situations. âSome of them did have conversations with their husbands about their finances and learned things that they were surprised about, or realized that they were falling into these more domestic roles unconsciously,â she says. (While Gabrielle isnât married herself, she did talk about the book with her long-term boyfriend, whoâs been married before, sans prenup; they agreed to get a prenup themselves, should they tie the knot.)
All this, and still Dominique suspects this might just be the beginning of the Strangers reckoning. So far, the book has caught fire with only half of the population, but the forthcoming movie adaptation has the potential to change that. âWomen will watch it with their husbands,â she says. âAnd then men will come into the conversation.â
*First names and initials used to preserve anonymity.
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Source: âAOL Entertainmentâ